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We all have at least one superpower. You know, the thing that you’re really good at. We may often think that a superpower has to be something “out of this world” like maybe a savant or something. The truth is that a superpower can be anything in which you excel. We all excel at something. Knowing this about yourself helps boost self-esteem.

Types of Superpowers

The ones that are unmistakable

These are the superpowers that are probably most often recognized. These are the Michael Jordan’s or the Tiger Woods. You can’t mistake their talent or their brilliance. Maybe they are famous and maybe they are not. Either way, you just can’t miss their superpower.

The ones that you cultivate

Maybe you are fairly competent at something and you really enjoy it so you take lessons and you practice, practice, practice. It could be anything: playing a musical instrument, gardening, writing, knitting…. You like it so you take an interest in it and you become good at it. Not Michael Jordan good but good. These are the superpowers that others probably see in you and you also see in yourself.

The ones that you didn’t know you had

These are the ones that you might not consider a superpower but they are. These are the ones that I am going to help you discover about yourself. Maybe you are an amazing mom or you are a wonderful listener. Perhaps you can make people laugh or you have the patience of a saint. Yep! These are all superpowers!

We all have superpowers. Every single one of us. And I’m not talking about the fantasy ones we all read about such as becoming invisible or teleporting or flying. I’m talking about the everyday qualities that make you – YOU. This is important to know because if we did not know this we might think that it is only the Michael Jordan’s of the world that have super powers. When we can tap into our own superpower we increase our self-awareness and boost our self-confidence and self-esteem.

How to discover your superpower and improve your self-esteem

Discovering your superpower is a little like discovering your soul mission. What are you here to do? What unique soul blueprint have you incarnated with? We come equipped with whatever we need to carry out our mission even if some of these talents and abilities are latent.

If you want to know your superpower:

• Think about what people say about you
• Tune in to what you like about yourself
• Think about what you were really into as a child

Think about what people say about you: What is the most common compliment that you receive? Is it that you are giving? or funny or smart? Then take that compliment and tune into how it translates into your superpower.

For example, if people say that you are giving maybe your superpower is the ability to be generous with your time. How is this a superpower? Most of us are in such a rush these days with super busy schedules so it is a gift if someone gives you their time. In like fashion if you are funny then maybe your superpower is to make people laugh. We all know how healing it is to laugh so making others laugh is an amazing trait or superpower. Or perhaps the superpower of a person who is smart could be creating innovative ideas in technology for instance. We can all recognize Elon Musk in this fashion.

Believe it or not, we often think about ourselves differently than other people think about us. I remember reading a study about this in grad school and I got curious as to how others saw me so I did a little survey. I was shocked at some of the traits that others saw in me that I did not see in myself. For example, everyone said that I am self-centered. I had never thought of myself this way before so it was definitely something to consider. I asked myself how could I take the negative aspects of being self-centered and turn them into something positive?

So for example, I was able to create a balance of knowing what I want and asking for it and giving others the space to also share what they want. And teaching my daughter to know what she wants and go for it in a respectful way is a superpower!

We often see ourselves based on our own limiting beliefs. Others see us through their perceptual lens. These lenses do not match up. Neither lens is right nor wrong. They are merely perceptions based on one’s own experiences.

So, what do YOU like about yourself? What someone else may say is self-centered you might say is assertive and or opinionated. Both of those qualities could be superpowers if used in the correct way. Being assertive, for example, does not mean being aggressive or plowing over someone else’s ideas. It means having clarity on what you want and having healthy boundaries – such as being able to ask for what you want. So check in with yourself about what makes you- YOU in your own unique way. Make sure that you are exhibiting the positive side of this characteristic. And celebrate you!

Here’s a fun way to learn more about yourself in a positive way and increase your self-esteem

• List your top 3 positive qualities
• List your top 3 negative qualities
• Look harder at your negative qualities

Why are we looking harder at our “negative” qualities? Well, we want to look at how we are judging these qualities as negative. For example, are we judging through a patriarchal lens in which assertiveness is only valued in males? So for instance, being assertive might be considered bitchy in a woman but a go-getter in a man. Or maybe we were shamed for keeping the peace and not speaking up for ourselves but really this conflict avoidance strategy works for us in most situations.

We often tap into our superpowers subconsciously as children

Think about what you were really into as a child. When I think back on my childhood I remember that I loved to teach my stuffed animals. I would line them up and plop them in front of the chalkboard and the lessons would begin. I would teach them about anything that I thought would help them- maybe it was ABC’s or maybe it was a life lesson. The point is that I loved it and therefore I taught all the time and became good at it, even if I was teaching my stuffed animals.

Teaching is one of my superpowers. Even though I am a psychotherapist, writer, and entrepreneur, I also consider myself a teacher. It is in my blood. So look at your childhood and think about what you loved to do. Were you the kid who was organizing all of the other kids in the neighborhood to go on adventures? Or the kid who doodled for hours on your etch a sketch? Look and see how your childhood passions have become a superpower as an adult. So for the above examples- perhaps you bring adventure to people’s lives. Or you have the gift of expressing yourself through art.

Knowing that you are amazing at something improves self-esteem. We all excel at something. Focusing on what we excel in rather than on our deficits helps us to raise our vibration and stay positive. Let go of comparison to others and remember that YOU are unique and special just because you are you.

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What is Transformation and Why most people don’t do it

Transformation is essentially change. When referring to personal transformation it is basically changing the self or the identity to one of an elevated consciousness. To be able to change the identity we must first know what an identity is.

What makes up one’s Identity

• Beliefs about the self and the world
• The way a person thinks based on these beliefs
• One’s emotional state as a result of these thoughts
• The way one experiences the world based on all of the above

One of the major blocks to changing your identity is that most of our beliefs are subconscious, meaning they are below your level of awareness. How do we then make something conscious that was previously unconscious? We look at what’s not working in our lives. Usually unpleasant emotions are the best indicator that there is a limiting belief underneath what’s not working. So to start the process of change we must be vigilant with our emotions because they are our GPS to making the subconscious conscious. To make a change we must be aware that there is even something to change. 

Four steps in making a change

1. We must be aware that there is something that we’d like to change. For example, if I have a drinking problem but I’m not aware that I have a drinking problem due to denial or lack of consequences then I would not be prompted to do anything about it. Research actually shows that becoming aware that there’s a problem and not taking any further steps leads to increased rates of depression. This of course makes sense. Feelings of guilt and remorse can arise if we know there is an issue but we seemingly don’t care or aren’t taking any steps to do anything about it.  This is what the old adage, “Ignorance is bliss” is referring to. 

2. We must be willing to make a change. So now I am aware that I have a drinking problem because maybe I’ve gotten a DUI or my spouse has left me but I’m still not willing to do anything differently. This step can be incredibly difficult to many people because once we become aware that there is an issue we know that usually a significant amount of work lies ahead. Many of us fall back into denial or some other defense mechanism at this point. 

3. There has to be a plan. A plan can be as simple as I’ll quit drinking and attend a 12 step program 3 times per week. Or I’ll find a therapist and attend couple’s counseling. Without a plan you don’t have your next steps. You don’t have a blueprint or a road map for where you want to go. It would be like building a house without the architectural plans to guide you. Plans can change of course and that’s ok. Plans are actually meant to change as you proceed on your route. You may decide that you like this part of the plan but you don’t like that part of the plan. Adjust accordingly as long as it is not another way to weasel out of making the change. Devising a plan isn’t usually the issue but following through with the plan can be a source of conflict. 

4. Follow through with the plan. It’s great to be aware of an issue and to be willing to change and to even have a solid plan. But if you don’t take action then the previous 3 steps are meaningless. As a matter of fact they could even be harmful. To continue with the drinking example from above; imagine that you are aware that you have a drinking problem and are willing to do something about it and you even have a concrete plan but then you consistently don’t follow through with that plan. So maybe you’ve decided to quit drinking and attend AA but you keep relapsing and not showing up for the meetings. This kind of behavior could lead to significant feelings of guilt and remorse. You might even think, “Man I was a whole lot better off just drinking and living my life. This transformation thing is for the birds.”

• When it comes to personal transformation all of these steps can be a challenge. Most people don’t have the self awareness that there is something to change. So many of us get caught up in blaming others without really asking ourselves what is our part in this or how did I contribute to this issue. For example; your best friend tells you that she is going out with some other friends this Saturday and she did not ask you to come even though the two of you had already discussed making plans. You get your feelings hurt and feel rejected. Many of you would stop here and just be hurt or resentful towards your bestie. It takes a certain level of self awareness to stop and ask yourself, “What’s my role here?” You could look at “what do I have to believe about myself for this to even be hurtful for me.” Remember if  you are hurt then it’s your stuff. So there is some belief in there that is being triggered. Maybe you believe that you’re not important or that you’re not any fun. If we didn’t have a limiting belief then there would be no pain. We would tell ourselves something like, “Well I guess this means that I am supposed to stay in and rest then.” And you would go about enjoying your weekend. Another piece of self awareness here is asking yourself if you spoke up or did you minimize yourself and not say anything and just move into rejection and resentment? If you and your bestie had made plans then say something like, “Oh, hey I thought we had talked about doing something Saturday night.” This gives her the opportunity to share her side and then the two of you can talk about it.

• Willingness can be tricky because people can fool themselves into thinking that they are willing when they are really not. Think about all of the New Year’s resolutions you have made and didn’t stick to. You know how annoyingly 🙂 crowded the gym is in the beginning of January and then by March it’s back to its old self. This is an example of people thinking that they are willing to make a change but then find out that maybe it’s more difficult than they thought. Most of us stay in the known even if it’s not pretty. I like to use the cavewoman example. Let’s say that a cavewoman doesn’t have a very good life. Perhaps her caveman is abusive and unappreciative of all that she does. Maybe her life in the cave is not her own but the life her caveman dictates for her. She is unhappy and yet outside of the cave presents a world completely unknown to her. The caveman has told her stories of the dangers that lurk outside. So she stays in the cave. Even though she is miserable, it is familiar and therefore gives her the illusion that she is safe. Does this sound like you? You are not alone. It is why most people don’t change.

• A plan is basically knowing what to do to solve your problem or make a change. When it comes to knowing what to do in personal transformation many of us are just lost here. We study. We learn. We acquire knowledge and nothing happens. We go to a retreat and everything is amazing and we come home and in a matter of weeks we are back to our old selves. Don’t get me wrong, knowledge is important and precedes any change. And it’s not enough. If it were I would have transcended by now because boy, have I studied this stuff! So what kind of plan is needed in personal transformation? It has to be a plan that incorporates changing the identity as a result of the knowledge that you have acquired. How do you change your identity? It literally means becoming a different person and shifting the limiting beliefs along with the thoughts and the emotions that make you you. And yes! It is a tall order and yes you can do it!  I did. I am literally a different person now than I was just one year ago.

• Executing the plan. I wouldn’t say that most of us are lazy and that’s why we don’t follow through. I would say that it is challenging to do something different. We are hard wired to continue on the same path that we have been taking. Literally. The more we repeat a pattern, whether it is a thought pattern, behavioral or emotional pattern the stronger the neural connection is in our brain. Neural networks form in the brain creating a strong connection that must be rewired if we want to make a change. This is why the last step can be so challenging. Our brains want to take us on the familiar path because it is already wired in the brain. Creating a new path requires more energy. And we typically take the path of least resistance. Imagine that you hike this one path everyday and you could do it with your eyes closed. Your dog who accompanies you leads the way because he too knows exactly where the path leads. One day you decide that you would like a different view instead of the same old view that you’ve had from your old trusty path. So you go up the mountain and you’ve got to get out your scythe and cut down the underbrush and literally create a new path. It’s not nearly as easy of a journey as taking the old, well worn path but you’re excited for a different view. The next time you go up the mountain your dog automatically heads toward the old path but you whistle and he follows you on to the new path. It’s a little easier today but there’s still overgrowth in the way and you’re not exactly sure where you are going but you like it so you keep going. The next day it’s a little easier and the day after even easier still. Eventually this new path becomes your well worn path and the other path becomes overgrown. This is what it’s like to create a new habit or pattern. Most people don’t feel like getting their scythe out and forging a new path.

This is the way of personal transformation. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s downright terrifying because you are becoming someone new and you may not even know who that person is yet and the old self is screaming to not be dissolved. You will probably take three steps forward and two steps back but that still means that you are moving forward. You will probably let go of many or most of your friends because you no longer speak the same language or have anything in common. At this point it may even feel lonely and you’re tempted to go back to the old self. Stick with it. You will find your new tribe- the new set of friends who just get you and with whom you can talk about  something other than the latest reality tv show. You will probably even lose interest in some of the things that you used to like because they will no longer resonate with you.  Not that I was ever an ice hockey fan but I remember going to a game and breaking down in tears and asking my husband if we could leave because the violence was so overwhelming for my system. The space in between the creation of the new self and the letting go of the old self is called the void. The void can be scary or lonely because the old has not yet fallen away and the new has not yet taken hold. Stay steadfast, my friend. It is worth every break down, every dark night of the soul and every what the hell is happening to me moment. This is how we become who we truly are instead of the old, limited self. This is how we create an abundant life and manifest anything that we desire.

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Many of us have never asked ourselves, “Who am I? What makes me tick? I wonder why I do that or think that or feel that?” Questions like these are important because they are the precursor to change. Shockingly very few of us are self aware. I think that this is due to several factors. For one, being self aware takes presence. I’m talking about being present in the moment and in your body. We are bombarded with so much stimuli from our electronics, phones and other modern day inventions that we hardly take a moment to be present much less embody the energy that it requires to truly be present. Most of us just run on autopilot and can’t even remember the last time we felt our feet on the ground or even noticed something like the sun on our face. I think another reason very few of us are self aware is because we were never taught how to become self aware. How many of you had a parent or caregiver that regularly prompted you to check in with yourself about who you are? Maybe they fostered an aspect of your identity if you were an athlete or a math wiz or something like that but being an athlete or a math wiz is not your identity.

     So then, what is an identity? Your identity is made up of your beliefs, thoughts, emotions and experiences that are born out of the above. So if you are an athlete for example, that would influence what you believe, what you think and how you feel but not all athletes have the same experiences in life so being an athlete is only one aspect of one’s identity. Now some people become overly attached to that aspect of their identity but it’s not actually who they are. For example; I am a blogger, a psychotherapist, a spiritual coach, a mom, a wife, a bestie but none of those roles are my identity. If I become too attached to any one of them to define who I am then I could get into trouble if any one of them goes away. Let’s say I can’t write anymore or I get a divorce or I am no longer a practitioner. Then who would I be? So we hold all of these roles lightly remembering this is not who we are. So who are we then?

Beliefs

     Let’s look at beliefs. What is a belief? A belief is a cognitive representation of how you navigate the world. These beliefs develop very early in life. Many if not most of your beliefs are subconscious, meaning below the level of your conscious awareness. We don’t even know what we believe so how could we know who we are? Some beliefs are passed on to us by our primary caregivers or by those who play an important role in our childhood. We may not even resonate with these beliefs and are completely unaware that they aren’t even ours in the first place. Let’s say for example that you realize that you have some funky energy around money and you have realized that you are tight when it comes to money. You realize that your mom is tight with money too.You start thinking about this and you realize that you resonate with an abundance consciousness not one of scarcity. Being tight with money doesn’t even fit your beliefs around money. You’ve picked this one up from your mom! Of course our moms can pass on lovely beliefs to us as well like, “everyone deserves love” or “respect mother Earth.” It’s our job to investigate our beliefs, decide which ones resonate with us and which ones are even ours. 

     How do we investigate our beliefs if they are below our conscious level of awareness? We start to look for patterns in our life. What keeps happening over and over? Patterns or themes are a pretty good indication of a belief at work. For example; let’s say that you have a lot of betrayal in your life. Perhaps boyfriends or girlfriends frequently cheat on you or maybe a business partner or colleague stabs you in the back. After some time you realize that this keeps happening in your life and you realize that the common denominator is you! But what is it about you that creates this pattern over and over? The answer is that it is some belief that you have about people or about the nature of relationships. It would go something like. “People will betray me.” Or “I can’t trust anyone.” See, whatever we believe is what is reflected back to us. We are the creators of our reality or our experience so then our experiences in life are a reflection of what we believe. 

     Have you ever wondered why everyone has such a vastly different experience in life even if she comes from the same family with the same parenting and the same resources and the same opportunities? It’s because everyone has different beliefs. These beliefs then create different thoughts and emotions and then an altogether different experience or life. Let’s say that I had a teacher early on who taught me that I can do or be anything that I desire. I wholeheartedly embraced this belief and it shaped who I am today in that I believed in myself and took risks that resulted in great innovation and success. Think of someone super successful. She probably had a belief similar to this. Now let’s say that my brother who grew up in the exact same household during the same time did NOT have a teacher who instilled a similar belief and therefore did not grow up to believe in himself like I did. He played it safe and ended up taking over the family business just like my father wanted. He was often bitter and dissatisfied with life. We both grew up in the same household at the same time. What’s the difference here?  The difference is what we believed. I believed in myself; that I could be or do anything. He believed that he had some responsibility to be what others wanted him to be rather than be who he truly is.

     Beliefs can be about ourselves or they can be about the world. They can be limiting beliefs in that they limit us from being our true unlimited selves. Or they can be beliefs that reflect our true nature – an unlimited co-creator with Source. 

    Most of our limiting beliefs have to do with not enoughness. Some common examples of these kinds of beliefs include:

                      “I am not worthy.”

                      “ I am not lovable.”

                      “ I am not smart enough.”

                      “ I am not pretty enough.”

                      “I am not important.”

      There are also limiting beliefs that have to do with being too much of something.

                    “ I’m too fat.”

                    “ I’m too much to handle.”

                    “ I’m too needy.”

                    “  I’m too slow.”

     None of the above beliefs are true. They are limited representations of self that we decided at some point in our childhood as a result of an experience (or we incarnated with them as part of our Karmic learning). These experiences don’t have to be anything traumatic either. Our developing brains and psyches aren’t capable of higher reasoning when we are little so we draw conclusions that are not true or accurate.

Possible Real Life Example

     The following is an example of a limited belief that formed as a result of an innocuous situation that could happen on any given day. Let’s say that little Poppy is taking a nap like she does everyday. On this spring day Mom has left the window open and the neighbor has decided to cut the grass. The lawn mower moves beneath Poppy’s window making a loud roaring sound. The sound of the lawn mower wakes up Poppy. She is scared and calls out for her mom. Mom knows that Poppy naps everyday at this time so mom is taking a shower and therefore doesn’t hear Poppy. Poppy calls out for her mom for  fifteen minutes before her mom hears her. Is this an example of abuse? Of course not. This is a normal, real life situation. Nonetheless, Poppy was scared and wondering why her mom wasn’t coming for her. Poppy’s brain was too immature to reason out that her mother probably couldn’t hear her. Instead, Poppy subconsciously made a decision about herself. Poppy decided, “I must not be important because Mommy didn’t come for me.” Over time this evolves into one of Poppy’s core limiting beliefs, “I’m not important.”

       Once we make a decision about ourselves or about the world and we stick to this decision over time this becomes a belief. Our beliefs and the thoughts and emotions that accompany them then become our experience. The world can only mirror to us what we believe. It cannot be any other way. Some might say the world creates our beliefs. I say our beliefs create our world. For example, someone might say, “Well I’ve never been important to my mom or to my husband or my boss and therefore I believe that I’m not important because of it.” I say that it’s because this person believes that she is not important that she attracts people into her life that mirror this belief back to her; meaning she attracts people into her life who treat her as if she is not important. People often confuse which comes first, an experience or belief. It is a question of the chicken or the egg only in childhood. Once our beliefs are formed early on the belief always comes first. Then the universe just reflects it back to us.  

     The same is true for positive or unlimited beliefs. We have positive experiences in childhood, perhaps a loving mother or father and we make decisions that reflect an unlimited experience of self such as I am lovable or I can do anything. Or perhaps my grandmother reinforces that I’m able to figure out almost anything and I develop a belief that I am capable. Then we move through life knowing or believing that we are capable, lovable and can do anything and THAT becomes our experience.    

     So how does your identity form from your beliefs? Well, your beliefs determine your thoughts. So continuing with the above examples; if I believe that I’m not important as one of my limiting beliefs (we have a few core limiting beliefs that shape who we are) then I would have thoughts such as “I didn’t get invited to the party because I’m not important. He didn’t call me back because I’m not important. My boss didn’t talk to me in the break room because I’m not important.” and so on and so forth. The issue is that most of us are unaware that this limiting belief is driving us. Instead, we just make up stories in our heads about our experiences that are often filled with blame. For example; “I didn’t get invited to the party because they are just a bunch of clicky girls. He didn’t call me back because he’s a jerk. My boss didn’t talk to me because she likes so and so better.” 

     Conversely, If I believe that I am important then I probably would get invited to the party or not care if I didn’t. If my boss didn’t talk to me in the break room I wouldn’t take it personally because I would know that I am valued and important at work. Most of us don’t stop to examine why we’re feeling the way that we’re feeling. It’s these thoughts that create our emotions. Perpetual thoughts with accompanying emotions are what create our experience. Our experience (our thoughts and our emotions) is really our broadcast or our vibration. What we’re broadcasting into the world is our identity. Why is it important then to know who or what your identity is? Because to change your life you have to change your identity! 

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1. Be more playful.

When we can access our child self or our healthy inner child we open up to a different part of ourselves.

We get in touch with the part of us that is more free. Free from self criticism. Free from self doubt. Free from limitations. Did you know that young children age 6 and under live in a totally different brain wave pattern than we do? Yep! They run around in theta most of the time while we cruise around in beta. Being in theta helps them to access their creativity. Ever notice how little kids are the best at playing pretend and when they are pretending to be something they are fully being it? They are present in the moment and fully embodying play. Play increases the feel- good neurotransmitters. So Play!

2. Get enough sleep

And I’m talking about quality sleep here

The amount of sleep that each of us needs varies from 6-9 hours per night for most of us. I’m a solid 8-9 hours personally. I love my sleep! What is consistent across the board; however, is the quality of sleep that we all need. Sleep is meant to be restorative. That means that it is like the reset button. The reset button only works if we get into a deep sleep that allows all of our systems to reset and find homeostasis and harmony. We all know the great disruptors of sleep- alcohol, stress, some foods like sugar or acidic foods, poor sleep hygiene… try a good night’s sleep and watch your happiness meter soar.

3. Feel more Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations along with love.

Tuning into gratitude allows you to shift from “I have to do” to “I get to.” For example I could say, ” I have to cook dinner tonight” and it might feel like a chore. If I say instead, ” I get to cook dinner tonight” that shifts me into gratitude. Now I’m focusing on what I’m grateful for that allows me to cook dinner such as having enough money to purchase the food or having a home and a kitchen to cook it in. Being able to stand and carry out the physical requirements needed to cook etc. Next time you’re thinking that you “have” to do something try I “get” to do it!

4. Tell your loved ones that you love them

Tuning into love increases your vibration

Sharing your love with others brings love into your conscious awareness. Having love in your conscious awareness brings it into your experience. Experiencing love automatically raises your vibration. The higher your vibration the more joy and happiness one experiences.

5. Get off of Social Media

Or at least significantly reduce your screen time

Social media can be a trap. We’ve all experienced it. We log on to look up one thing and an hour later we’re hooked. The problem is that most of us on social end up comparing ourselves in one way or another. We either compare ourselves as better or as not enough. Either way it is a form of judgment. Studies show that social media can and does have a negative impact on happiness. This study has a bit of a twist focusing instead on how one uses social. If you can’t get off of social media altogether at least set a timer and reduce your screen time.

6. Reduce the amount of News that you watch or read

Watching or reading the News can increase stress

No one has to tell you that the news is almost entirely negative and highly sensationalized. Take Covid as one example. The media had most of the world scared to death. Unfortunately it seems that news is not newsworthy unless it is negative. The news is also often fear based meaning it can incite fear in those who watch it. Fear and negativity are surefire ways to lower your vibration and thus affect your happiness.

7. Get outside

Being in Nature can help you tune into connectedness

They don’t call her Mother Earth for no reason. Connecting with the consciousness of Mother Earth helps us tune into our very essence. Our bodies come from the earth and return to the earth when they die. We, like the earth, have an organic component forever joining us. Feeling connected or a part of something helps increase the happiness factor. This holds true for feeling connected to people, animals, nature or even your guides. We all have access to Mother nature. Get outside and connect with her.

8. Surround yourself with people who lift you up

Positive, supportive friends help you keep your vibe up

Have you ever noticed that being around certain people just doesn’t feel good? Unless we have very clear, healthy boundaries (which most of us don’t) other people’s stuff affects us. Whoever has the strongest vibration in the room whether that is a higher, more loving vibration or a lower, more negative vibration will have an affect on most of us. While it is very important to work on having a healthy boundary why not give yourself a head start and just keep company with those who vibe high?

9. Exercise

Just 15-20 minutes a day of exercise increases feel good hormones

Did you know that in some countries like Switzerland and Germany physicians prescribe exercise as a first line of treatment for depression? Can you imagine going to the doctor due to feeling depressed and are given a Rx to exercise instead of an antidepressant!? What a better world we would live in!

10. Stop Worrying

Doing the “What if” thing is a waste of your energy

Worrying about something not only has no positive effect on the outcome it actually is harmful to you because of the cascade of stress hormones that are released. Worry often involves rumination- a loop of thinking the same thoughts over and over. These thoughts are often filled with the” what if” syndrome- what if this happens or that happens. These thoughts are almost always fear based. When we repetitively think these thoughts we release stress hormones which of course increases our stress level. Here’s the kicker: most of the stuff that we worry about never even happens! Talk about a waste of time.

11. Have a spiritual practice

Make it your own- anything to connect you to something higher

A spiritual practice is not the same thing as a religious practice although it could be. A spiritual practice is anything that you want it to be that aligns you with your higher self (that part of you that is connected to your soul). It could be a walk in nature, reading a self- growth blog , working with divination cards- anything that raises your vibration and helps you remember your true soul essence.

12. Eat foods that your body wants

This is not the same thing as eating foods that the ego wants.

Every body is different and therefore each body performs best with different foods. There is absolutely no one diet that works for everybody. Some bodies might want to eat a vegetarian diet while others might like meat. Probably no body wants to eat a twinkie but that’s a no brainer. What does food have to do with happiness? When you have a loving, respectful relationship with your body you advance in your evolution. Think of a time that you listened to your body and gave it what it wanted. Didn’t that feel good? Think of another time that you didn’t give it what it wanted. How did that feel? Feeling good about feeding our bodies makes us just feel good.

13. Engage in leisure

Studies show that people who take time out for leisure are happier.

Stop and smell the roses. What is it that you love to do? Read a romance novel? Sit and stare at the birds out the window? Go for a walk? We are so programmed in this patriarchal society to be productive and accomplish that we forget that relaxing is just as important. Doing something just because we enjoy it is good for the soul and lowers stress hormones. We ARE taught to take a break if something is overwhelming us. Walk away. We don’t have to wait until we become overwhelmed. Schedule in some leisure time and see how that brightens your day.

14. Create a healthy relationship between your body and mind

The body is your ride in this lifetime.

According to Matt Kahn our bodies are the part of us that are on the spiritual path. I say that all parts of us are on the path- our bodies, our lower self and our ego. In this case when I refer to mind I am speaking about ego and the lower self. Similar to number 12. Eat foods that the body wants, we want to listen to our bodies. Sometimes they need to exercise. Sometimes they need to rest. We so often just ignore our bodies’ messages. Our bodies are always talking to us, providing us with necessary feedback. Take the time to listen to what your body is telling you.

15. Practice Forgiveness

Having a resentment only hurts YOU

When we hold on to a resentment the only person affected is us. The other person is often not even aware that we have a resentment. Practicing forgiveness is about us, not the other person. We are the ones feeling the anger or hurt. We are the ones whose nervous systems are being affected by stress hormones. Forgiving another frees us and in turn frees them. Practicing forgiveness often also releases the karmic lesson that we were working on. And don’t forget the most important person to forgive-YOU!

16. Listen to high vibe music

Music has a way of soothing the soul

I’m sure that you’ve noticed the effect that music has on you. Think about a time when you were down in the dumps and put on sad music and you became even more depressed. The reverse is true as well. We can listen to happy music and start to feel better. Masaru Emoto was a Japanese scientist who studied how different vibrations affected water. Various musical genres were among the vibrations that he studied. He found that “high vibe” music such as classical has a positive affect on water. Our bodies are made of mostly water so the music that we listen to affects our bodies and therefore affects our minds.

17. Drink less alcohol

Alcohol is a depressant

For many of us we feel happy when we drink alcohol but alcohol actually acts as a depressant in the body. This means that the after effects of alcohol can actually increase stress and anxiety. Alcohol is also a toxin and stresses our liver not to mention that it is highly addictive and has a strong potential for abuse. Personally I love wine and drink it most days. I love how I can sip a glass of wine and immediately bring onboard more of that feminine, magnetic energy that just helps me to chill out and relax. It’s a slippery slope for me: however, because just a smidge too much and my sleep is disturbed and the next day is ruined. When it comes to alcohol less is better.

18. Be Nice

You catch more flies with honey.

Being nice raises our vibration. Gratitude and love are among the highest vibrations and joy is right up there as well. So being nice even if we don’t feel like it helps us get closer to joy. Think about a time when you were in a bad mood and you were nice to that person at the grocery store anyway. Remember how you felt better? This is kind of like fake it till you make it mentality. So next time you are in a bad mood be nice and see what happens!

19. Get a Pet

Any pet

Studies show that people with pets are happier and receive many other health benefits as well. The animals have come to earth to assist us with our evolution. They are some of our greatest teachers and supporters. They can teach us about unconditional love. They can teach us about presence and being in the moment. Our pets are attuned to our energy systems which is why they are so responsive to us. Obviously cats and dogs are the most popular pets but others are fast coming on the scene. Think Wilbur!

20. Choose to be Happy

Yep, I said it- happiness is a choice!

No matter what is going on our lives we choose what we are thinking (this does not apply to severe mental health challenges involving psychosis). What we think determines how we feel. So if we get to choose our thoughts then by default we get to choose how we feel. I’m not saying that it is easy to choose happy thoughts during challenging times. When cancer is front and center in my life it is certainly more of a challenge to choose high vibe thoughts. It is; however, ultimately a choice. I love this teaching because it empowers us- we are in charge of how we feel. No one else.

21. Watch a funny movie or tv show

Laughter is good medicine.

Laughing is good for the soul. There is such a thing as laughter therapy. I’ve done it. You know at one of those workshops and you walk in a circle and start fake laughing. It’s awkward and weird and it works! But you don’t have to go to a workshop to put laughter to use for you. Just put on a comedy or funny videos (I roar at bloopers) and let the laughter begin!

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