Know your Superpower and improve your self-esteem

We all have at least one superpower. You know, the thing that you’re really good at. We may often think that a superpower has to be something “out of this world” like maybe a savant or something. The truth is that a superpower can be anything in which you excel. We all excel at something. Knowing this about yourself helps boost self-esteem.

Types of Superpowers

The ones that are unmistakable

These are the superpowers that are probably most often recognized. These are the Michael Jordan’s or the Tiger Woods. You can’t mistake their talent or their brilliance. Maybe they are famous and maybe they are not. Either way, you just can’t miss their superpower.

The ones that you cultivate

Maybe you are fairly competent at something and you really enjoy it so you take lessons and you practice, practice, practice. It could be anything: playing a musical instrument, gardening, writing, knitting…. You like it so you take an interest in it and you become good at it. Not Michael Jordan good but good. These are the superpowers that others probably see in you and you also see in yourself.

The ones that you didn’t know you had

These are the ones that you might not consider a superpower but they are. These are the ones that I am going to help you discover about yourself. Maybe you are an amazing mom or you are a wonderful listener. Perhaps you can make people laugh or you have the patience of a saint. Yep! These are all superpowers!

We all have superpowers. Every single one of us. And I’m not talking about the fantasy ones we all read about such as becoming invisible or teleporting or flying. I’m talking about the everyday qualities that make you – YOU. This is important to know because if we did not know this we might think that it is only the Michael Jordan’s of the world that have super powers. When we can tap into our own superpower we increase our self-awareness and boost our self-confidence and self-esteem.

How to discover your superpower and improve your self-esteem

Discovering your superpower is a little like discovering your soul mission. What are you here to do? What unique soul blueprint have you incarnated with? We come equipped with whatever we need to carry out our mission even if some of these talents and abilities are latent.

If you want to know your superpower:

• Think about what people say about you
• Tune in to what you like about yourself
• Think about what you were really into as a child

Think about what people say about you: What is the most common compliment that you receive? Is it that you are giving? or funny or smart? Then take that compliment and tune into how it translates into your superpower.

For example, if people say that you are giving maybe your superpower is the ability to be generous with your time. How is this a superpower? Most of us are in such a rush these days with super busy schedules so it is a gift if someone gives you their time. In like fashion if you are funny then maybe your superpower is to make people laugh. We all know how healing it is to laugh so making others laugh is an amazing trait or superpower. Or perhaps the superpower of a person who is smart could be creating innovative ideas in technology for instance. We can all recognize Elon Musk in this fashion.

Believe it or not, we often think about ourselves differently than other people think about us. I remember reading a study about this in grad school and I got curious as to how others saw me so I did a little survey. I was shocked at some of the traits that others saw in me that I did not see in myself. For example, everyone said that I am self-centered. I had never thought of myself this way before so it was definitely something to consider. I asked myself how could I take the negative aspects of being self-centered and turn them into something positive?

So for example, I was able to create a balance of knowing what I want and asking for it and giving others the space to also share what they want. And teaching my daughter to know what she wants and go for it in a respectful way is a superpower!

We often see ourselves based on our own limiting beliefs. Others see us through their perceptual lens. These lenses do not match up. Neither lens is right nor wrong. They are merely perceptions based on one’s own experiences.

So, what do YOU like about yourself? What someone else may say is self-centered you might say is assertive and or opinionated. Both of those qualities could be superpowers if used in the correct way. Being assertive, for example, does not mean being aggressive or plowing over someone else’s ideas. It means having clarity on what you want and having healthy boundaries – such as being able to ask for what you want. So check in with yourself about what makes you- YOU in your own unique way. Make sure that you are exhibiting the positive side of this characteristic. And celebrate you!

Here’s a fun way to learn more about yourself in a positive way and increase your self-esteem

• List your top 3 positive qualities
• List your top 3 negative qualities
• Look harder at your negative qualities

Why are we looking harder at our “negative” qualities? Well, we want to look at how we are judging these qualities as negative. For example, are we judging through a patriarchal lens in which assertiveness is only valued in males? So for instance, being assertive might be considered bitchy in a woman but a go-getter in a man. Or maybe we were shamed for keeping the peace and not speaking up for ourselves but really this conflict avoidance strategy works for us in most situations.

We often tap into our superpowers subconsciously as children

Think about what you were really into as a child. When I think back on my childhood I remember that I loved to teach my stuffed animals. I would line them up and plop them in front of the chalkboard and the lessons would begin. I would teach them about anything that I thought would help them- maybe it was ABC’s or maybe it was a life lesson. The point is that I loved it and therefore I taught all the time and became good at it, even if I was teaching my stuffed animals.

Teaching is one of my superpowers. Even though I am a psychotherapist, writer, and entrepreneur, I also consider myself a teacher. It is in my blood. So look at your childhood and think about what you loved to do. Were you the kid who was organizing all of the other kids in the neighborhood to go on adventures? Or the kid who doodled for hours on your etch a sketch? Look and see how your childhood passions have become a superpower as an adult. So for the above examples- perhaps you bring adventure to people’s lives. Or you have the gift of expressing yourself through art.

Knowing that you are amazing at something improves self-esteem. We all excel at something. Focusing on what we excel in rather than on our deficits helps us to raise our vibration and stay positive. Let go of comparison to others and remember that YOU are unique and special just because you are you.